- interviewer: this wasn't listed as a required qualification, but you mentioned in your resume several times that you are excellent at memorization?
- me: *giggles* oh my gosh, I'm so embarrassed. well, since you asked for a demonstration, *recites 35 consecutive Nicki Minaj verses for the next 20 minutes*
Are fedoras really that bad?
YES YES THEY ARE
I don’t really believe this mumbo jumbo
I mean it’s a goddamn hat.
The white rose, it symbolizes the unique beauty of all the women who wish not to be with a nice guy such as myse-
I wonder if this works with other kinds of hat…
Nothing ventured, nothing gained…
WHEEEN THE MOON HITS YOUR EYE LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE THAT’S AMORREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
In order to become the supreme adult, you must perform the seven wonders:
- Public speaking
- Not being afraid of teenagers
- Calling the doctor yourself
- Arguing without crying
- Having a normal sleep pattern
- Having an answer to the question ‘what do you want to do with your life?’